Since i first started talking, before i started school my mom had a very precise and delicate piece of advice which was repeated along my 21 years of TALKINGHOOD, yet even with that precise repeated advice i still couldn't hold my tongue.
I really didn't have a hidden agenda or a back to back meaning for what i did but even so i felt guilty and selfish and a bit dirty, my question was a simple one and it came with a warning but still i was misunderstood, shes radiant and beautiful but my heart is claimed for.
my future is that of the unknown, I have no plans nor a vision for whats to come for I'm a prisoner of a system controlled by a government of no like..
Multiple nationality's and multiple passport cant give me a simple common right of having a relationship a romantic life or a wife..
engaging in a relationship will make me automatically forfeit one or maybe 2 of my nationality's and the right to stay with my family, the right to see my cousins and uncles and nephews and nieces, engaging in a relationship will shape my life into a Rubik's tube of which you turn and twist nob's to straighten it up but in my case there is no solution and there is no twisting and turning for there is only a single law that holds me hostage of my belief and faith.
regardless of my relationship status i cant drive a car i cant have a job and i cant do my residency in one of our local hospitals till things are sorted out.
For ten years, half of which I've lived partly illegal and partly legal, i was sitting in a fox hole a crack in the system of law, there was no way out and no way in for things had grown under and over me, until things calm down and things come to a resolution i will always be the same, a lost and frustrated and irresponsible person.